One question that I always get asked is, “How did you get started in this work, anyway?” It’s a fair question. I mean, what could make a perfectly successful ivy league student and non-profit manager change her life, leave her job and move across the country?
It actually all started with a panic attack…on my wedding day! I wish I could have been a Zen Bride. I wish that for you too. I wish that for every bride, really. I, however, was the opposite of a Zen bride.
Looking back, I think it’s pretty clear that my perfectionist self had reached her LIMIT. I had been obsessing over the details of this wedding for months. 80 New Yorkers were traveling to Savannah to see me get married. The pressure of throwing the perfect wedding, projecting the perfect image and feeling responsible for everyone was just too much for me. Oh, and then there was the rain…tropical storm levels of rain.
As the day went on, and the rain didn’t stop, it set in that I might actually “fail” at throwing this wedding. BAM. PANIC ATTACK. I’d never had a panic attack before. I was scared and confused so I did the only logical thing I could think of...hide. That’s right, I hid in the bathroom with my panic and my two sisters and my bottle of white wine.
I remember my sisters saying to me, “Everything is going to be OK. We’re all putting good energy out into the universe for you.” Remember, this was before I started my personal and spiritual work. In between gasps for air I responded, “What (gasp) if (gasp) I’m (gasp) ruining (gasp) the (gasp) good energy (gasp) with my panic?!”
It was my biggest fear; that I was responsible for ruining this wedding – for failing at weddings. I wasn’t worried about the marriage. I was worried about the image of my wedding and how I would be perceived by all those New Yorkers who flew 800 miles for my rainy wedding.
I wish my future self could go back to that day and teach me how to be more Zen. I wish she could have taught me how to breathe through it. I wish she could have told me that I can’t control how people perceive me. But of course, she can’t. And I wouldn’t take that panic attack back because it was the catalyst that started my journey.
Anyway, after some time, encouraging words from my sisters and a fair amount of white wine I moved through the panic. As it turned out, the rain stopped about an hour before I walked down the aisle. (Of course it did, right?)
The next day, my oldest sister offered to connect me to her Mentor, Prabuddha, to help me address the panic. At the time, I would have described Prabuddha as an Intuitive Body Worker, but really, there’s no title that does him and his gifts justice.
Once I met Prabuddha, there was no looking back. The door to a new way of life was opened and I was on the path to self-discovery. I began to explore different types of energy work but more than that, I started to look at the limiting beliefs and patterns that were holding me back. This path has been bumpy and scary at times but the life I’ve created in the past 4 years is better than anything I could have imagined.
Does my story resonate with you? Are you feeling called to make a change and release the panic and the stress? Are you ready to look at your own limiting beliefs and let them go? Let me know! Email me
info@SamanthaCalonita.com or connect with me on Facebook!